your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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