i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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