I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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