just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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