We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just forgot I was standing up.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
