O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
