True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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