I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
