YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
