hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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