Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
