I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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