Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
