My first STD was from a foam party
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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