first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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