Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
