On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
