all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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