Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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