if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
