I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
