and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
