yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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