Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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