You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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