You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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