before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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