Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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