When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
