Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize