Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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