I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
