ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
