Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
