I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
