Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh god it's open bar.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
