garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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