When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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