how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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