I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
