Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
