omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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