they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
