Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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