Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You are the jesus of drinking
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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