I'm jealous of your bromance
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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