the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
