I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize