So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
be right there i have to get my cape
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
