nut hugger
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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