new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
