Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize