You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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