NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
