Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"