I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I AM VODKA MAN
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
