Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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