So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.