last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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