We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
