Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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