So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
