for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
